Friday, February 19, 2010

i have a confession

i am a diabetic. i have been for years. i tell folks that i have denyabetes. well, truth is i can not deny it any longer. it is ugly and things are going to have to change including this blog. i still plan on baking and cooking, but attempting to switch up my recipes to healthier ones, not only for me, but for the family, too. i am trying to get motivated, but truly am devastated. it is my own fault. i know better and knew better. my family history of diabetes and heart disease is overwhelming, so i can no longer turn a blind eye. i have to get real, real serious that is, about doing the right things for me and my family, especially my children. i have struggled with my weight for life, failure after failure, up and down, but i can not fail here. failure will result in limb loss, kidney failure or even death. wake up beth!

i am now in the process of scouring for diabetic and heart healthy recipes to share. i am just so depressed that something that i enjoyed so much, reading cookbooks, is torture. the recipes just make my gag reflex kick in. i want sweet, salty and fatty foods. you know the "good" bad stuff. those days are over, now it is time to trick, i mean retrain, my brain and taste buds! it is time to break old habits and start new healthy ones! it is time to embrace a new beginning! it is time to...

oh crap, who am i fooling. this sucks.

9 comments:

lisa said...

(((beth)))

as long as i can have coffee, i'll be ok.

BrumleyGap said...

I share your your frustration. While I blame no one but myself, I have strayed way off the good path with a lot of help from what seems like every store in existence, every ad in the media, and every social gathering with food. It is so hard to find healthy satisfying food, and soooo easy to find unhealthy food.

Wishing strength and gentleness along the way for us all...

April said...

Beth, you can do it. Admitting the problem is the first thing to do, and then realizing that it is truly an issue that needs to be fixed. I have faith that you can. :)

Pam said...

Oh Beth. I am sorry you have to deal with this but I KNOW you can do it. Instead of baking cupcakes, make cute sock ones. :)

Sarah, Maison Cupcake said...

Be strong. You can do this.

BTW I am posting you something you cannot eat anyway!

Kacey said...

Beth, I second what April said; you can do this. You must do this. Besides, think of all the fun kitchen experiments you can have as you create the tastiest and healthiest recipes in the blogosphere!
Courage mon brave!

Kacey said...

Beth, I second what April said; you can do this. You must do this. Besides, think of all the fun kitchen experiments you can have as you create the tastiest and healthiest recipes in the blogosphere!
Courage mon brave!

noble pig said...

Yes you absolutely have to, it's so dangerous and you will feel so much better. Everything in moderation and remember, the first two bites are always the best...push the rest away.

TeaLady said...

First step - changing how you cook and view food. There are soooo many pitfalls out there. And they are sooo easy avoid with the right steps.

Hang in. We can all benefit from a change in our food/dessert habits. I look forward to your new recipes.