we interrupt your regularly scheduled program...

to bring you this public service announcement or rant. i will get back to the food, soon, i promise. i have had a great deal floating around in my head this week. i am trying to plan a little family gathering to celebrate my son's fourth birthday. usually planning such an event would be fun, right? wrong.

well, i got a phone call on sunday that has completely thrown me off kilter. a conversation that i keep replaying in my head. i just can't shake it.

first, let me attempt to explain a few things. i am a mama to an adopted child. my late husband and i adopted my daughter c at birth in 1998. it was a non-family open adoption, a great experience. i got to know c's birth mom really well and eventually even some of her family members. when my daughter was five, she got to meet her birth grandparents for the first and only time. it is a long story, but they didn't even know she existed till then. they were nice folks, but choose, out of respect to their daughter and her family, to back away from a relationship with c. okay, fast forward, c's birth mom, as mentioned, has her own family now and makes no contact with us, but i do keep in contact with her sister or c's birth aunt. it was sunday when this sister calls to tell me that her dad, c's birth grandfather, took his own life a few weeks ago. i had only met the man once, but i cried like it was my dad. it broke my heart. this man had so much to live for, wife, three daughters, three grandsons and a new grand baby due in july. well, this is were it gets shocking. turns out he was trying to quit smoking and was taking the med chantix. folks, it has come to light that chantix has very serious and frightening side effects. this man is not the first person to kill himself while on this medication and i doubt the last, until the fda pulls this crap from the market. i have spoken to quite a few people about this drug and turns out, my own sister in law was taking the drug and in a few days time started having issues. she stopped it immediately. my brother's good friend was taking it as well and begun talking about whether his life was worth living. he too stopped it immediately, thankfully. i don't get it! why wouldn't a medication with such serious side effects still be marketed? i guess the percentage of deaths from shotgun blasts to the face is less than that of lung cancer? i don't smoke, never have, but i had much rather see someone put a cigarette in their mouth than a gun barrel.

putting my soapbox away. we know return you to your regularly scheduled program. thank you.